Dating an ex when married

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After the breakup, I'd get messages from Holland where Martin admitted life wasn't so swell. When a new romance he'd begun fizzled, I cackled like a demon.Flash forward to 2009 where Martin had become a fond but distant memory ... As if the wind had been knocked out of me, I ran from the house and roamed the streets with tears streaming down my cheeks like a disoriented victim of a car crash.Blubbering on the phone with a friend about how one of the great loves of my life had gone on to find happiness without me, I started listening to my own complaints.The conversation began with Martin, but moved onto the men I'd known since him, and ended with my feelings about my career.Whether I was getting closer or farther away from my goals.

I've remained buddies with most of the men who've been in my life, especially with the advent of Facebook.Ultimately, he went back to his Dutch homeland where "real life" awaited him, leaving me bed-ridden with the flu like some heartbroken maiden in a Victorian novel.The men I dated after Martin wondered how I could be so cold, never knowing I'd been seduced and abandoned like a raging Medusa with snakes in her hair.Martin's presence made me re-examine my life; he became a muse and confidante.But he was also flaky and unsure of himself, and in the end wouldn't be mine.

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